The Case for Sporadic Communication

Let me preface this by saying that if you are in a happily committed relationship, don’t come meddling around us single folk on your high horse about how this could never work for you and your significant other. I mean, you too have been in a failed union before, right? And your current one has zero guarantee to succeed, as does anything in life, and this may one day be your downfall, you clingy hominid, you. Anyways, the way we have been doing things hasn’t worked, obviously, so let’s try an alternate route to ultimate happiness. Now, hear me out as I make the the case for sporadic communication.

The cellular device was created April 3, 1973 and mankind has not looked back in this field of technology since. It was followed up with the commercialization of the Internet somewhere between 1989-1991, which gave way to instant messenger, personal email, webcams, and eventually social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook. All of these things have given us a multitude of ways to keep up with (or keep tabs on) the ones we care about most, which isn’t the worst thing in the world to have at our disposal, but it also isn’t the best use of the World Wide Web either. I believe that we have become so accustomed to instantaneous news and results, that we have forgotten how we’ve gotten here and what probably still works best for us as a society in regards to every day human interaction.

Unless you share a child, are living together and/or are engaged to be married, there is no sensible reason that you should be texting or conversing with your “boo”, “bae”, “wifey” “hubby” or whatever else you like to call them, everyday. It’s simply unnatural. I mean, you don’t converse with your friends everyday, do you? Let’s go back to the Neanderthal era when you’d have been too busy learning to hunt, ceramics, build fires, skin buffaloes, etc. before you even had the time to go and mate. Once you’d have your skilled mastered, you’d think you’d have time to hang around and court your crush each day? I doubt it. You had more concern about surviving the next day than that kind of business. This ability to adore from a distance probably made it all the more wonderful when the time came to court her into settling down in some nice comfy cave with you and produce little offspring. Or we can jump to the 1950’s even, when there still was little of the technology we have currently and they had to set actual dates, wait til they caught up at school, write letters, and earnestly crave to talk or spend time with each other. We’ve seemingly lost the ability to do as much because we always know -or want to at least- where and what they’re doing, seeing as we have the capability to do so. It’s loathsome what we have turned the art of courtship into, which in turn has effected the ability to love naturally, rather than artificially.

Now, if you decide to try limiting artificial interaction, it can be a lot healthier. As you grow as a couple, conversations won’t get shorter as they tend to do, text replies won’t become a task, and you’ll see that your general tolerance level of each other will be far greater than it was in previous situationships where you “enjoyed” the company of your so called “boo”. You’ll also find it refreshing that you have no idea how his/her Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday went until y'all sit down for lunch on Thursday and catch up. Not saying a simple “Good Morning, have a great day.” text is banned here, nor are check in calls to ensure all is well should your little cold heart start to worry about their well being. It is just that there isn’t anything natural about talking everyday of your lives, nor could there be much excitement on a day to day basis to convey. Also, jealously can breed from excessive interaction, as one may feel as though they’ve mastered the other’s routine and should they ever waver from what the other has grown accustomed to, then they’re thinking worst case scenario thoughts. That cannot be healthy for either party involved and we’ve all been there before, I’m sure.

Not advocating that this is a surefire way to achieve success in your current or future romantic endeavor, but more so I am providing you with an alternate method that may better your odds at retaining that special person you believe is worth being around long term. This is something I myself completely believe in in an era where social media posts and “WYD?” texts are far too common to eventually become anything more than trivial, especially in the modern day relationship.